Sweet Madness
by KayMarieXW
Summary: What if Alice never forgot? Would her destiny be different if she retained some of her human memories? Family, love, betrayal, revenge. This is Alice's story with a twist! My entry in the Pre-Twilight round of The Canon Tour. *AU*
1. Empty

Thank you for giving this Alice AU story a chance. It's based on Alice's life as outlined in the guide but it diverges from canon and it might not be what you expect! I loved writing it and have fallen in love with the characters in it and I hope that you will love it too. It's only short and I'd be so grateful it if you read it and let me know what you think.

The story title and the chapter titles are taken from the lyrics of Sarah McLachlan's Angel. Such a beautiful song, that I think fits perfectly with this story.

A massive thank you to my amazing beta, TheaJ1. She worked really hard on this story for me, especially considering the short time frames I gave her. Her constructive suggestions made this story better. Also to my sister who supports me in everything…including this!

This is my entry for the Pre-Twilight Round of The Canon Tour. I loved everything about being a part of this contest and there is a link on my profile if you want to read the other entries. They were all really good.

Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight but I just can't stop manipulating her characters for my own enjoyment!

xxx

**Sweet Madness**

**Chapter 1: Empty**

A shaft of moonlight danced in through my window, animated by the trees swaying in the wind, creating rustling shadows. Sometimes the effect was peaceful and captivating. Tonight it was ominous. I sat on my metal framed hospital bed, my cheek pressed against the cold, stone wall as I gazed unseeingly at my denied freedom. I was all alone, isolated to prevent the spread of my madness or the infection of my hysteria and to stop me circulating my 'ridiculous lies'. A small smile ghosted across my lips. If only I was mad. Madness would be sweet in comparison to knowing the truth.

Unfortunately, I had endless amounts of time at my disposal and I could not stop myself from dwelling on the mistakes I had made in my relatively short life. Mistakes that had cost my mother her life, deprived me of my freedom and left my father free to enjoy his new life with my evil stepmother. It was like I was trapped in a reverse fairy tale. I had had my happily ever after first and it wasn't as forever as it should have been. Everything had fallen apart and was getting darker and darker. I had gone over the choices I had made so many times. If I had made different decisions, said different things, would I still be living happily at home with my own mother and my sister, and my father be the one rotting away in a cell?

As a child, my life had been comparatively happy. My mother was perfect, there was no other way for me to describe her. She was supportive, loving, kind, strong and brave. My father was the main difficulty I had to endure. He was cold and calculating, with occasional bouts of fiery anger, but he was away on business more often than he was at home, so we lived happily without him and cautiously with him. I learned quickly how to avoid confrontation with him. I always had a sense about when it was safe to approach him and when he should be avoided at all costs.

My father's temperament had taken a turn for the worse when he heard my mother was expecting again. Before they had even made the announcement, I knew that I was going to have a baby sister. I was nine when Cynthia was born and I was completely enchanted by her immediately. My mother had been worried about me being jealous, after it just being me for so long, but I never felt even a measure of jealously towards her. The only thing I didn't like about her was her name. Like mine, it had been chosen by our father and I didn't think it suited her at all. I called her Thia. My tiny Thia. I had to be careful, as my father hated that abbreviation, so it became our secret.

Thia was such a bright and happy little thing. Despite the nine year age gap, we had been very close. That I would probably never see her again broke my heart. My life here was so cold and lonely and my future was empty. I cast my mind back to the last truly happy memory I had, which had been a few months before my mother was killed. Thia had been braiding my hair as we chattered and laughed about a young man who seemed to have taken a shine to me. Thia thought it was 'disgusting', to even think about a boy in those terms and had pulled faces into the mirror as her tiny hands tugged gently at my hair. Like me, she was very small for her age, so she looked much younger than any other nine year old. I ran my own fingers through my short hair in frustration, my memory shifting to the day they had hacked it all off, supposedly to prevent the potential spread of typhoid. Up until then, I had tried to maintain a stoic emotional detachment from the horror of my life in this asylum, but that day the tears had run freely. It was clear to me that many of the staff had relished the threat of a contagious disease, because it gave them an opportunity to humiliate us further. To emphasise the distinction between staff and patients and to make sure that we knew our place.

I wondered what my father had told Thia about why I had disappeared so abruptly. Had he told her I had run away? Abandoned her? Was that better or worse than the truth that I had been committed and branded insane? My father had already had my mother murdered and tried to have me killed. Was Thia safe with him? How I wished I could protect her still. In the past I had always found it easier than Thia did to stay in his good favour. Thia had lacked the ability to sense his potential displeasure and consequently irritated him often. I had tried to shield her from his temper, steer her away from him when it was prudent and take the brunt of his violence when it inevitably came.

_Please, please don't let him hurt her. _

At least my stepmother had seemed to take a liking to Thia, even if she had always been hostile to me. I so hoped that that would be enough to make my father's attitude towards Thia better, even if that did mean that she might be changed by my stepmother's influence.

Movement caught my attention, jolting me out of my reverie and causing me to focus on the shadowy outline of the groundskeeper. I was immensely grateful for the distraction. As he stepped into a clearing, he seemed to glow in the dim light. I frowned at him. He was a mystery to me. Why did he only work at night? Watching him was a night time vice of mine, but I was only able to do so for the short time he was actually working in the view of my room. He was so graceful and nimble. It was a contrast to what you would expect of someone who only did manual labour. I had never seen anyone else working the grounds and they were vast. It seemed an impossible task for one man, especially one with such restricted working hours.

He looked up suddenly, but not towards me. I shifted my position and craned my neck to see what he was looking at, then recoiled at the sight of Doctor Despicable hurrying towards him. Doctor Despicable was the bane of my existence here. I was convinced that my life in the asylum would not be so unpleasant if it wasn't for him. I hated him. In my mind he was an ogre of a man, towering, intimidating and completely lacking in humanity. He was responsible for my therapy, if you could call it that. He was cruel and sneering in public, insisting to his superiors that shock treatment was the only valid option to 'purge my insanity'. When we were alone, he was leering and inappropriate and I had sustained many bruises trying to rebuff both his treatment and his advances. Just thinking of him made me cringe in fear and disgust. He was an awful man that had complete control over every aspect of my life. But seeing him next to the lithe groundskeeper, he seemed scrawny and clumsy, comical even and I wondered at how he instilled such fear in me. I shuddered as they both glanced towards me, then began heading towards the building I was in.

Several minutes later I heard hushed voices.

"I don't really understand what you need me for, Dr Talbot." The voice was undoubtedly male, but had a lilting quality that made it seem almost soothing. It didn't quite fit in this place.

"Mary might be tiny, but she's a vicious little thing," I began to shake as soon as I heard Doctor Despicable's malevolent voice, "and she's not going to like this one bit. She's bound to fight me."

"But don't you think another medic or orderly would be better placed to help you with this. I've no experience of such things," the reply that came was both incredulous and firm.

"Don't be a fool, man. This isn't an authorised treatment session," Doctor Despicable said condescendingly. "Her father has paid me very handsomely to ensure her spirit is broken and her memories are lost, but the task is proving much more difficult than I imagined and conventional means seem ineffective in her case. She is a fragile vessel, but her spirit is strong. Mr Brandon has run out of patience and so have I."

There was a scuffle and urgent whispering, the rustle of cloth and a huff of air. I pressed my back to the wall, my fear holding me hostage and my stare fixed on the door. How had I not seen this coming? But I knew the answer to that. Looking for my future was too depressing. It was empty, long, lonely, withering away in here. Or at least it had been until now.

"Thomas, now is not the time to develop a conscience. I know of your shady dealings and dubious references," Dr Despicable warned menacingly. "If this goes well you will be generously rewarded. It will be an amount that a man of your lowly stature could never refuse."

There was a loud ominous click and the door swung open. Framed in the doorway, eerily illuminated by the light of an oil lantern, were Doctor Despicable and the groundskeeper, who I now knew to be named Thomas. Even in the face of my paralysing terror, I could not help but gape at his beauty. He had flawless skin and a strong jawline with well-defined features. His clothes were old and worn, but neatly mended. His eyes were dark and would have been sinister if they weren't rounded in silent compassion. I felt warm tears flow from my eyes for both of us. I was sure that my fate was sealed. I would have to endure it and he would have to live with it.

Doctor Despicable approached me slowly and carefully, but with a gleeful glint in his eye. "Block her escape and catch her if she bolts," he ordered Thomas, who was hesitating in the doorway and had made no move towards me. He seemed to be battling indecision. I much preferred to look at his kind features than the doctor's cruel continence. I tried to convey though my expression that I didn't blame him for this, because he looked so genuinely guilty.

I shouldn't have taken my eyes off the doctor though. A sickly smelling rag was forced over my nose and into my mouth. I gagged, gasping for air and grasping at my assailant. He grunted as my foot collided with his stomach and then hissed as I scratched at his arms. He dropped the rag, then I felt his hands around my neck and I desperately kicked out again, my foot connecting with a satisfying squelch, but I was rewarded by a heavy blow to my face. "Some help please, Thomas," the doctor growled. "She should be out by now. She really is a feisty little thing…which will just make breaking her more satisfying in the end."

I continued to struggle but sound was spiralling away from me as I was dragged into unconsciousness, all hope fading with it. Miraculously though, the pain and pressure suddenly disappeared, which was a small comfort.

Just before the darkness claimed me, I heard a thud, a snap and a desperate whisper. "What are you doing…What are you?"

xwx

I woke with a start and in a groggy panic. I sat bolt upright and groaned in pain. My head was thumping, my face was throbbing and my neck was tender. I squinted though my swollen eyelids and realised that I was still alive and still in my room. I was desperate for a drink but there was none to be had. I could tell it was late afternoon by the direction of the sun and I wondered why no one had checked on me. I didn't dwell on it though, as I was mostly just grateful to be alive. I collapsed back onto my bed and waited. Eventually an orderly would come, I was sure. But no one came.

The hospital held an entirely different energy today. An excited morbid buzzing in place of the usual dreary misery. Running footsteps instead of plodding ones. Bustle in place of boredom. But still no one came. I was relieved to hear when footsteps eventually turned down my corridor. Two women were chatting animatedly as they headed towards my room.

"I overheard them talking to Dr Crane. Apparently the train driver saw him standing on the ledge of the bridge. Then he jumped. He didn't even scream." Her voice dropped, so was barely audible to me, but the acoustics of the building allowed me to hear the rest. "Parts of his body were scattered for miles along the tracks. His head was completely detached from his body and was crushed! They had to identify him through his clothes and belongings, but they still came here to confirm he did not come to work today and that it was definitely Dr Talbot."

"Dr Talbot never struck me as suicidal…murderous maybe? But surely he loved himself too much to do such a thing."

"Maybe madness _is_ actually contagious?" The woman sounded worried. "In any case, that end will earn him a direct route to hell."

"I'm sure he had already earned a place there with his life deeds," the other lady sniffed with disdain. "He'll not be missed…"

I had been intently listening to their conversation, so it took me a moment to realise the voices were getting quieter and the women were moving away. I jumped up, my intention to head to the door and capture their attention but I was thwarted by my legs which collapsed under me, heaping me onto the floor. Out of frustration as much as anything, I closed my eyes and drifted away again.

I was woken by a murmured reassurance in my ear and the feeling of floating. I was gently placed onto my bed. I forced my eyes open and found myself staring into glowing crimson unblinking eyes.

xxx

**TO BE CONTINUED…Please keep reading...it gets better (I think/hope!)**

**Hope you like it so far, I'd love to hear your thoughts, so please review. Each one makes me happier than you could imagine.**


	2. Memories

**Chapter 2: Memories**

I opened my mouth to scream but was silenced by the firm gentle pressure of Thomas' palm over my mouth.

"Shhh," he hushed me, "Don't scream Mary, no harm will come to you by my hand."

"Alice," I attempted to tell him, but my voice was completely muffled by his smooth cool skin. He regarded me carefully for a few moments before removing his hand and stepping away. His eyes remained trained on me and he raised his eyebrows questioningly.

"My name is Alice," I croaked, but my voice was rendered inaudible by my raw throat. In the blink of an eye, Thomas vanished from my room and my heart sank. I felt lonelier than I ever had. Had I scared him away? I felt certain it should be the other way around. I struggled to sit up, but a sharp pain in my wrist, caused me to fall back, but not onto my mattress. Thomas had returned and was gently guiding me into sitting. He offered me a cup of water which I gulped down greedily, spluttering and choking in my haste to rehydrate.

"Careful, Mary. Slowly does it," Thomas soothed me, gently steadying my hand with his, tilting the cup more cautiously, while still allowing the cool liquid to coat my throat. I sighed and tried again.

"My name is Alice," I told him again. This time my voice was intelligible at least, if still a little scratchy. Thomas frowned at me.

"Everyone knows you as Mary," he sounded puzzled, "and that's what written on your admission form."

"Please call me Alice," I asked, but even though I wanted to sound firm, my voice came out as a trembled whisper, affected by a mixture of pain, emotion, fear and exhaustion. Thomas' face softened and he positioned himself so I could see him clearly.

"Why is it so important to you little one?" he asked curiously, his voice soft. There was something mystical about him. He was so beautiful and his smell was somehow comforting. His eyes were glowing red, which was clear evidence of his danger, but they were also kind and honest. The combination of these things was like a truth serum and I felt compelled to tell him.

"My mother wanted to call me Alice, but my father didn't like it. He was adamant I would be called Mary. My mother was so insistent, that he conceded my middle name could be Alice. I would overhear them talking of it. Whenever they would row, it would come up again and again. Yesterday was the second time my father tried to have me killed. He has disowned me and I never belonged to him anyway. My name is Alice." By the end of my explanation my voice had finally gained the strength I had been striving for. Thomas' eyes twinkled in amusement at my tenacity.

"Okay then Little Alice, you can call me Tom."

xwx

Over the following weeks, we developed an odd friendship. Initially Tom would come and check on me to monitor my recovery and ensure that I was eating. Gradually our clipped conversations became more in-depth and our strained silences become comfortably quiet. Tom started to bring me food from the staff kitchens and then one night he took me out into the grounds. It was exhilarating to finally be free, even if it was only for a limited time. I was so grateful, that Tom started to take me with him to work on the grounds for a few hours most nights.

So slowly and surely my existence became more bearable, and eventually I was almost content. It was impossible to be truly happy, confined in an asylum, but the improvement in my circumstances was dramatic. Tom manipulated my records and treatment plan so that I no longer had to fear shock therapy. My daytimes were peaceful, but boring and I spent them wondering whether Tom would visit that night and if he did would he take me into the grounds, or read to me or bring me a gift.

My favourite gift so far had been a thick, red leather bound journal. He told me to write down the things I couldn't tell anyone. It was really sweet. I could tell he was a little concerned for my sanity. I had not explained why I was imprisoned here and he was worried that by altering the course of my treatment he may have adversely affected my recovery. The journal had improved even my days. I spent the daylight hours filling it with stories from my childhood, my love for my sister and my mother and the betrayal of my father. I included sketches of people and places, mainly to further pass the time.

As the weeks went on, I became more and more in tune with Tom and I began to get visions of his future that did not involve me. One night when he had not visited me for few days, I started to worry and concentrated on his future. What I saw shocked and frightened me. I trembled as, through closed eyes, I watched Tom bite into Harry's wrist and suck greedily…almost as if he was drinking his blood.

Harry had only recently been admitted to the institution. It was rumoured that he had killed his brother. I had regularly heard him screaming and knew he was one of the truly tormented. One of the few admitted because of genuine madness rather than to be hidden away because of an ulterior motive. But did that mean he deserved to die? I could hardly reconcile Tom, the gentle man that I knew, with the vicious monster I had seen in my vision. The memory of the vision haunted me for the whole of the next day. I willed myself not to think of it but it was pointless. It was all I could think about. I lay in bed that night praying for the first time that Tom would not come. I pulled my coarse blanket tightly around me, even though it was scratchy and uncomfortable around my neck. As if that could protect me. I closed my eyes and tried to calm my breathing. Then I heard it. The click of the lock and the clank of the latch. Tom had arrived.

I couldn't open my eyes, my heart raced and my breathing was shallow.

"What is it, Little Alice?" Tom asked, concern lacing his voice. I felt the mattress dip as he sat on the edge of my bed.

_This is Tom. This is Tom. This is Tom, _I chanted to myself, remembering his kindness and how he had saved me. But I also remembered the description of how Dr Talbot had died. I had always known it was more than a coincidence that he had died the night he had attacked me. But I had pushed it to the back of my mind, ignored it because his death had made my life so much better. In my heart, I had always known that Tom had killed him somehow. But it hadn't mattered because I had been so grateful that he was gone.

"Little Alice?" Tom asked again, gently touching my face. I could tell he was really anxious now. I forced open my eyes.

_This is Tom. _But I couldn't help recoiling away from his vivid red eyes, which had been almost black when I had seen him a few days previously. I'd almost forgotten they could be so vibrantly red. Blood red. I choked back a scream.

"Is it my eyes, Alice?" Tom was confused by my reaction to him. "You've seen them like this before and they've never bothered you. What's changed?"

I silently gave a little shake of my head, unable to formulate a response. He gazed at me sadly, but with acceptance, almost as if he had been waiting for me to fear him. "Would you like me to leave Little Alice?" he asked me sincerely. Did I? If he left, I knew he would never come back. My life would be unbearable and empty again. Forever stretching out in front of me, blank, empty, confined, claustrophobic. Locked in an asylum.

Dejected by my silence, Tom turned to leave.

"Wait," I called out and he hesitated. "Please don't go."

He slowly twisted to face me once again. We gazed at each other in silence for a long while. He looked torn and I guessed I probably did too. He deliberately moved back to my side and reached again for my face. Again I flinched.

"I don't understand what has happened, Little Alice." He tilted his head. "You need to tell me." As always, I was unable to deny him the truth when he was so close to me, bewitching me with his presence.

"I saw you with Harry," I whispered and heard his sharp intake of breath. A fleeting expression of shock crossed his face before he was able to paint a neutral expression. I waited for his denial, but it did not come.

"I would never hurt you Alice," he murmured instead. "You are like a daughter to me and I will do everything in my power to protect you." I was not reassured. In my experience a father-daughter relationship meant danger, not protection and I stiffened at his analogy. He gauged my reaction. "I think it's time for you to tell me everything. How could you have seen me with Harry?" he asked curiously.

"I see things, sometimes," I told him cryptically, not knowing how to explain. Would he condemn me as mad as well? Everyone else I had ever told had, with the exceptions of Thia and my mother.

"That's what put you in here?" Tom speculated.

"Not exactly," I replied.

"Then what exactly?" Tom asked, a hint of frustration seeping into his voice. "You can trust me, Alice. I will not judge you. I want to know and I need to understand what you know about me." I took a deep breath. I knew I had to tell him. I sensed that if I didn't, we would lose something and never be able to get it back.

"My whole life I have seen things, flashes of the future…" I began cautiously. "Sometimes they're real and sometimes they're not. Because I never know which ones are going to come to pass, they are a curse. I just seem to make things worse. At home, only my mother trusted what I saw. Everyone else laughed at me. Some called me changeling and some branded me a witch. Even close friends and family, people I loved and trusted, accused me of cursing them when things I warned them of actually happened…"

Tom listened intently to my explanation. The judgement, ridicule and disbelief that I had come to expect, never came.

"So you see the future, but sometimes it changes, which makes people inclined not to believe you, and to have you committed," he summarised. "But you said that your visions weren't the exact reason you're here?"

"I saw my mother being murdered," I faltered. Even though I had gone over this so many times in my mind, it was the first time I had voiced any of it since that dreadful night. It was difficult to talk about, but I felt a fierce need for Tom to know everything. I had to trust that he would believe me. I took a deep breath as I fought to control my emotions. "We tried to change it, we really did. She didn't go out for weeks. She took measures to protect herself. But she was still killed by the same random stranger I kept seeing. He ran her buggy off the road and then watched her die. No one believed me that it wasn't an accident and after only a few months my father remarried.

My stepmother and I didn't get on at all and she kept letting things slip that made me think that she had been planning to marry my father and live in our house for longer than she should have been. I began to wonder if she had had anything to do with my mother's death. I took my suspicions to my father. Although we had a difficult relationship, it would never have occurred to me that he was capable of doing anything drastic or permanent, so I thought that he could not have been involved. But I was very wrong, because that night I had a vision of the same man killing me."

Tears began to slide down my face as I remembered the stab of biting betrayal I had felt when I realised that my father had been complicit in killing my mother and that he was prepared to have me killed me as well. Tom gathered me into his arms, giving me the ability to continue. "I ran. First to my aunt, but she didn't believe any of it. She thought my father was a good man and was sure I was crazy. Besides, she was still upset about her son's death. I loved my cousin dearly and against my better judgement, I warned them that on the route he was planning to take as he headed west to seek his fortune, something terrible would happen. But they all dismissed my concerns as silly nonsense. When he did die, in an accident, my aunt blamed me for it, accusing me of cursing him. I had thought it was mainly the initial grief that caused her to say such things and I honestly believed she would help me when I asked, but she turned me away. So then I ran to the Marshall, but my father and his new wife had beaten me there. They were consoling him, for his dead wife and his crazy daughter and congratulating him on managing to stabilise his family so quickly. They decided that committing me was the kindest course of action for everybody. So I am here because of my visions, but mainly so that my father can hide the fact that he killed my mother."

Tom had listened patiently and compassionately as I poured out my story. His embrace oozed comfort and I drew strength from it, almost forgetting the reason I was so upset in the first place.

"I am a vampire."

His revelation was sudden and startling and I tensed in his arms, but he only held me tighter. "You already knew there was something very different about me," he stated.

I nodded into his chest and he accepted my conformation without question.

"I have to drink human blood to survive. I try to go as long as possible without feeding, but I become very dangerous when I'm thirsty. That's why I haven't been around for a while. If I hurt you Alice, I would never forgive myself. But I do have to feed on someone. Harry was a danger to himself and others, he had already killed his family and when he was lucid he was tortured by the remorse of it. He would have died an agonising death here. It could be argued that it is not my place to decide who is worthy to live and who is not. But that is what I have to do to survive. Definitely better him than you." Tom had delivered his explanation with only a hint of emotion and no sign of remorse; although there was an air of sadness about him which indicated that he was taking none of this lightly.

"But what if they catch you? You can't just go around killing patients. Someone would notice," I argued.

"I have been doing this a very long time. No one notices! Last night Harry slit his own wrists. There was a guard outside his door the whole time and nobody else came or went. No one will investigate and he won't be missed. They're all glad he's dead." Tom's explanation was both logical and enlightening.

"But there would have been no blood," I persisted, wanting to understand.

"There was plenty of blood. No one suspected that it was not his." My eyes widened. I realised that evidence would not be difficult to fabricate and no one would ever scrutinise the circumstances of a patient's death.

"I'm like him. Easily disposable. No one would miss me," I mused.

"I would miss you. Very much. I won't hurt you Alice," Tom told me sincerely and I believed him.

"But why did you save me?" I had to know and I couldn't hold in the question. "You took a risk killing a doctor here."

"I made another choice that night. That your life was more valuable than his was blatantly obvious and there was something about the way you looked at me that made it very worth the risk."

That night Tom went on to tell me everything about vampires. He explained how hazardous this knowledge was and the consequences of the Volturi finding out. I was in awe that there was a vampire hierarchy. I was more surprised about that, than the fact that vampires existed in the first place. Tom told me that while my new knowledge of vampires was risky, guessing or only knowing part of the truth was much more dangerous. That was how I became one of the few humans, maybe the only one, with all the details about vampires.

Dawn was approaching by the time Tom left my room. Just before he went he told me that he would respect my wishes. If I asked him to leave me alone, I would not see him again. By this time my answer was easy.

"I trust you. Please don't leave me," I implored him.

xwx

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

**Thank you for reading, I hope you like it so far.**

**I'd love to hear what you think**


	3. Escaping

**Chapter 3 - Escaping**

Tom spent the next few weeks testing my ability. He would have me predict what he would bring me to eat, what object he would offer me and even the weather. With Tom's coaching, it did not take us too long to realise that my visions were based on decisions. My predictions would change as often as Tom changed his mind. The only thing I consistently predicted correctly was the weather.

"That just goes to show, God is not fickle and once his mind is made up he doesn't change it!" Tom laughed.

Our friendship was stronger than ever. Our trust in sharing our biggest secrets opened the flood gates. One night when he had taken me into the grounds, I found the courage to ask him how he had become a vampire.

It was fascinating to watch him work. Especially now I knew what he was. He didn't have to hide anything from me anymore. I was in awe of his speed and strength.

"Doesn't anyone ever notice?" I asked him, curiously.

"I'm careful to move at near human speed when I'm in sight of the buildings," he told me with a smile, "besides, any witness would hardly be credible!"

I gazed at him pensively. He had told me a lot about vampires in general. I knew about the bloodlust that was worst in the newborn phase, their cold hard skin that was impenetrable to everything except another vampire's teeth, that some of them were gifted, that they never slept. I had even seen him sparkle in the sunlight. But he had told me very little about himself and that made me curious. I was so lost in thought, speculating to myself about Tom's personal history that I didn't notice that he had stopped work and come to stand beside me.

"What has you so lost in thought, Little Alice?" he asked, startling me and making me blush in embarrassment.

"N…n…no…nothing," I stammered, flustered.

"Remember, there are no secrets between us any more, Little Alice," he said with a reassuring smile. "What's on your mind?"

I looked up at him shyly, I wasn't sure how my inquisitiveness would be received, but I was too curious not to ask. "How did you become like you are?" I asked awkwardly. He cocked his head and watched me for a moment with a guarded expression.

"That's not a happy tale, Alice," he warned me.

I couldn't help but smile, and in the face of his continued sternness I was unable to contain a nervous giggle escaping my lips. I guess my humour was contagious because he was fighting a smile when he demanded, "What's so funny?"

"Since when did either of us tell a story with a happy ending?" I asked him and then we were both laughing.

"Okay Little Alice, if you're sure you can cope with another melancholy tale…"

I nodded, anxious to finally hear his story.

"I was born sometime in the late 16th century, but the exact date is lost to me now. I was from a fairly well off family and for the whole of my adult life I served as an officer in the Royal Navy, working my way up through the ranks. One stormy night, we were battling against the odds to keep the ship afloat. It was all hands on deck. I remember scrambling with a crew mate to secure a vital rope that was lashing in the wind, when I suddenly felt a vice around my chest and a searing pain in my neck.

I now know that during this time, it was fairly common practice for covens of vampires to swim out to a ship at sea in a storm. The Volturi were strictly enforcing the secrecy law and it was one of the few ways to ensure an abundant flowing supply of blood, but still have a very credible cover story of lost at sea.

The vampire that had been feeding on me must have been dislodged when a powerful wave hit the ship and washed us overboard. This prematurely halted his meal, so that instead of dying, his venom was allowed to spread, changing me. I burned slowly but intensely as I was being thrashed around by the sea. When I came to my senses again, the sea was calm and all I could see for miles around was the blue, never-ending ocean. And my throat burned with thirst. I swam…I've no idea how far or for how long, but by the time I washed up on a beach I was half crazed with thirst. I had no idea where I was. It turned out I was in South America, but I'm still unsure of which country exactly.

Many of the vampire, demon and monster superstitions that originated in South America were fuelled by what I did in those first few months on land. I was very fortunate that I did not wash up in Europe, because the Volturi would have acted decisively if such a massacre had happened there.

It was a long time before I remembered anything of my human life outside of the Navy. By the time I finally remembered I had a wife and daughter, I was too ashamed of myself to ever go back to them. My little girl was ten the last time I saw her. The last thing she said to me was "I love you Daddy, come home soon." I promised her I would and I broke that promise. I could barely remember what she looked like until you told me I had to call you Alice. Her name was Alice too and you reminded me of her in so many ways. You brought her back to life for me."

Tom had his eyes closed and had sunk to sit on the cold ground by the end of his sad tale. His grief, both for the loss of his own family and for the innocent people he had slaughtered as a newborn, was palpable. I didn't know how to comfort him. He had always been the strong one, the one who had consoled me. I crawled into his lap and he held me in silence. And that was enough.

xwx

Tom had lived for such I long time I could barely comprehend it. He was over three hundred years old! After the horrible story of his introduction to vampirism, the rest of his immortality had been much less violent. There were many stories that Tom shared with me that I shouldn't have found funny, but I did. He had been so many places and lived for such a long time. I wrote everything down in my journal. I probably shouldn't have. Tom had been very clear that the only vampire law, the secrecy law, was stringently enforced. If anyone were to find my journal it would be very dangerous for both of us. But I convinced myself that its location would be my saving grace. If it were ever to be discovered, who would believe the ramblings of a patient committed to an insane asylum? Besides, my daytimes were so long and boring. They dragged and stuttered. By day I was miserable and at night I was free.

After a time, I began to dwell on my distant future. Tom had never discussed my leaving here, but obviously he was capable of liberating me. I was frightened to broach the subject with him. What if he had no intention of taking me with him when he was forced to move on by his unchanging appearance? What if I was just a diversion while he was here? He had once told me that someone would have to be mad to even consider the life of a vampire. It was long, hard and lonely. Not at all glamorous. But I was insane after all. I had a certificate to prove it! Surely anything would be better than here. When I tried to look more than a few weeks ahead, I saw nothing.

One evening, when Tom arrived he could sense my fretting. He looked me over with apprehension.

"Tom…I was wondering…that is to say…I've been thinking, worrying…" I fought to find appropriate words.

"Please never be afraid to talk to me Alice," Tom said, taking my hands.

"Will I ever be like you?" I blurted out.

"My beautiful Alice, there is nothing about this life that you would want to experience, or that I would want to inflict on you." Tom told me sadly.

"But I can still come with you, when you move on," I urged him. "Please Tom, take me with you."

"Alice," Tom sighed, "that would be incredibly difficult. Life with a nomadic vampire is completely unsuitable for a human. I travel huge distances in short periods of time, I would be a danger to you when I was thirsty. I would have nowhere for you to sleep, no way to keep you warm or fed."

"So you intend to leave me here to rot," I despaired.

"Alice, you would be much safer here, than anywhere else with me," he said gently but firmly.

"Not if you made me like you," I pushed.

"Alice, this is not a decision to be made lightly. You are still so young, still a child really. You would be frozen that way. No one would ever look at you as an adult. Your hair…I know how you hate it, it will never grow." I knew there was wisdom in Tom's words, but all I could really feel was rejection.

"All of that is insignificant compared to being here," I persisted.

"When I am ready to move on, we will discuss this again and make the decision together," Tom said, with a finality that ended the conversation.

xwx

Tom flung open the door to my room, making me jump.

"I need your help," he declared. I felt excited; he had never asked me for anything before. He handed me a set of patient files and I looked at him in confusion.

"We need to be quick, I have to get them back to the office before they are missed," he said, motioning for me to open them.

"I don't understand," I frowned.

He sat down on my bed and looked me straight in the eye. "I'm thirsty, Alice. I need to choose who I will feed from next."

I looked over the files in horror. How could I decide who should live and who should die? I tried to read through them but couldn't concentrate on the words.

"I can't," I whispered, "I'm sorry."

"But that's the price, Alice. Each human life only buys you two weeks of immortality. If you are like me, it's a decision you'll have to make again and again. Will you be able to live with that? I still struggle with what I am and it's been centuries. Thousands of human lives, to pay for just me. If I change you, I will be responsible for thousands more deaths."

Tears filled my eyes as the reality set in. Tom knew me so well and he was right. I couldn't live with that.

"I don't want to hurt you, Alice. I've thought of nothing else and it's so tempting not to be alone anymore. I will stay here with you and you can let your body and mind mature in relative comfort and then we can discuss this again. I won't leave without you, but you are safest here for now, fed and sheltered. When it's time to move on, I will scout out somewhere we can both go. I will play a human for you, Little Alice and protect and care for you all your life. It'll be okay."

And so our discussions shifted again. Away from changing me and onto where we would go next. So I finally had the hope I craved. I knew Tom would stick to his word. I would not be imprisoned like this for the rest of my life.

xwx

The vision had come suddenly and out of nowhere. It was the clearest one I had ever had and it did not change. I shook with fear. I wondered how many times I would have to live through it in my mind before it actually happened. I was frozen in place, my journal open on my bed, as I had been writing in it when the vision struck.

When Tom arrived that evening he took one look at me and was by my side in an instant.

"What is it?" he demanded.

"He's coming for me." I whispered.

"Who?" He gave me a little shake.

"A vampire…" I started, but faltered.

"Is it the Volturi?" Tom urged me to continue.

"No, no cloak. He's on his own. But's he's singularly focused on finding me, nothing will deter him." I explained desperately.

"I will protect you," Tom declared.

"No, NO! He will kill you if you stand in his way. He will win any fight with you." Suddenly I was more fearful for Tom than myself and it gave me focus.

"We'll leave…I had found somewhere," Tom suggested.

"No, he'll find us there," I dismissed his first idea.

"Okay, so not there. But there are other places…" But my visions never changed. He always found me.

"No, he'll find us anywhere we go," I despaired.

"Even if we…"

"Even then," I said with acceptance.

"He must be a tracker." Tom deduced. "I'll change you. I'll take you away and change you," he resolved.

"There's no time, he'll still find me before I change. There will be blood left for him to drink and he'll drink it."

"What then, Alice?" Tom demanded.

"You kill me, Tom. I'd rather it was you. You'd be gentle and kind. But after you do, cover your scent and run as fast and far as you can." It was the only solution that would save either of us. At least Tom would survive.

"I could never," Tom shook his head firmly.

"You must. Please. There's no time," I insisted, unsuccessfully trying to move him. He was like a statue.

"I'm sorry, Alice. I love you. You are everything to me now and I'm sorry I couldn't help you. Another daughter that I've failed to protect!" Tom looked wretched for a moment. Then his eyes met mine and emotion burned in them.

He pinned me against the wall, exerting gentle pressure. He firmly pressed his lips to my forehead, then carefully tilted my head to one side. "This will hurt and I'm sorry for that as well," he whispered. Then I felt the slicing at my neck.

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

**Thanks for continuing to read, **

**I'd love to hear what you think.**


	4. Wreckage

**Chapter 4: Wreckage**

I was drowning in volcanic lava. Being swept into the fires of hell. I knew that I was changing. But why had Tom gone against my vision? It would get us both killed. The thought that Tom would die because of me added mental fire to the physical burning. _Please make it stop!_ I tried to concentrate on anything else to distract me from the anguish but nothing worked. I had flashes of semi-coherency. The lilting movement of Tom running with me in his arms at his full speed. Laying on a bed that felt like fire and brimstone. Hearing soothing mumblings from Tom's musical voice, feeling his cool hands on my skin. I tried to focus on our future. Had he made a decision that would change our fate? In the immediate future I saw him pacing, comforting me, reading and writing. It did not make a lot of sense to me and the burning was so distracting, I couldn't see anything at all when I tried to look further ahead.

Then I got another vision. It was clear and imminent. Tom leaned over me, stroked my hair and pressed another firm kiss to my forehead, then he was gone and I was alone. As I continued to burn, my visions kept haunting me in flashes, making my torture all encompassing. I saw Tom confront the one who was searching for me at the asylum. From my visions' perspective the fight seemed to be long and brutal and I couldn't see who would be victorious. It kept changing. Something had been lit in Tom and his fighting had become more formidable as a consequence. I alternated between looking at our past and looking for our future. I tried to memorise Tom's features and his kindness, knowing that I could lose it all in my transition.

But there came a time when I looked forward to Tom's future and it was blank. There was nothing there. I screamed as my eyes flew open. I might have screamed for minutes, hours or days. I had no concept of time anymore. My throat burned from the thirst and the screaming. Tom was gone. I was alone. I was a demon with no one to control or guide me.

Eventually my screams gave way to sobs, which ultimately gave way to stillness. I became trapped in my own mind. I could remember nothing but Tom. Not even my own name. My mind searched for him, although I knew it was futile. My grief was all consuming. Gradually my thirst became more urgent and could no longer be ignored. As soon as I made a decision to do something about it, images of a massacre flooded my mind. A massacre caused by me. The images paralysed me, trapping me in a vicious loop.

A disgusting hot liquid was flowing down my throat. It tasted vile but it was soothing the burn. Marginally. I came to my senses with my lips at the neck of a wild boar and pushed away, disgusted. I scrabbled back and became aware that there were several animal carcasses close by. I had no recollection of what I had done, but obviously I was responsible because my scent lingered at each one. Instinctively, I knew that I should hide the evidence of my gluttony and I hurriedly buried them.

Desolately, I followed my trail back to the cabin where I had awoken. Now that my thirst had been diminished, my mind was once again filled with Tom. I tried to collate my patchy memories and sort fact from vision. That was all I really knew. Tom was everything to me and he had gone and I could see visions of the future, some of which were true.

The cabin itself was basic and sparsely furnished, but it felt oddly like home to me. It was saturated with two scents, mine and Tom's, and I think his scent was why I felt I belonged here. I fully took in my surroundings for the first time. There was a large sack hanging over a chair that contained clothes which were obviously mine, although I did not recognise them. On a small wooden table sat a thick red leather book, on top of which rested a hastily scribbled note.

_My Dearest Alice,_

_I know I promised to protect you and that I would never condemn you to this life, but at the moment my lips touched your neck, I knew that I couldn't lose you. My existence was dreary before I found you, but after having your vitality brighten my life, I know that if your light were extinguished, my own survival would have been dismal. Some of your very special gift has transferred to me, Alice, and I have a sense that the world is a better place with you in it, in whatever form that may be. Even as a vampire, which is what you are now, Little Alice and I hope that one day you will forgive me for that._

_I am already lost without your visions, Alice and I wish I knew which course of action had the best outcome, but without your guidance I have to rely on my instinct. I am going to try and stop the monster that is coming for you, even though you warned that he will defeat me. It is worth the risk. I will do everything in my power to come back to you, but if you are reading this then I've failed and I'm very sorry._

_I read some of your journal and I should be angry that you wrote everything down, when I warned you how dangerous the knowledge I shared with you was, but as things stand I am glad. All you need to know to guide you in your new life is written there, by your own hand._

_Stay safe, Little Alice. I love you as fiercely as I loved my other daughter. I hope that you are able to find happiness and someone to share this life with. I'll miss you and you'll forever be in my heart._

_I hope that you will always consider me your loving father,_

_Tom._

As I read this note, so much became clearer and I was immersed in grief once more. I kept reading and re-reading his letter, and inhaling his scent, until eventually, as before, my thirst became more pressing and I could no longer dismiss it. My decision to quench it brought on a violent vision. I could see the fear and panic I would inspire in the humans I would kill. I could clearly see every detail about them and I could hardly believe the monster I would become. I would be a murderer of innocents and I didn't want that. But I did have an alternative. I could drink from animals again and even if they tasted vile, they would suffice. That was how I came to drink from animals not humans. Sometimes.

The next few years seemed to drag and fly at the same time. I fed from a mixture of animal and human blood. The human blood tasted so good that I couldn't stay off it completely. I practiced stalking humans from a distance. Looking into their futures. Training my control and my gift. When I came across one who was on the road to evil, or at least nastiness, then I permitted myself to drink.

The first time I allowed myself to hunt a human, it was both a success and a failure. I ventured into a large town late at night, reasoning that there would not be many people still out to contend with and also that people who weren't at home at such a late hour were predisposed to being up to no good anyway. The constant burn in my throat was only slightly eased by drinking from animals and the desire for the relief that human blood would bring had become overwhelming.

Near the docks, I came across five men in a heated exchange. They were dividing the proceeds of a bank robbery they had committed earlier that day. I tried to look for their futures, but found it extremely difficult. I had never really attempted to look for someone I didn't know before and I couldn't seem to isolate anything for any of them. Then the tallest one broke away from the group, storming towards me clearly disgruntled. As he approached, the vision came murkily. He had decided to procure alcohol that was currently illegal and this would cause him to arrive back at his home very drunk. His wife and daughter would be on the receiving end of his violent outburst. It was all I needed to see. He didn't even notice me coming for him and he tasted absolutely divine, but his blood ran dry far too quickly and I was unprepared for the force of the bloodlust that descended upon me. The other four men did see me coming and their screams and panic as I chased them down still haunt me.

I tried to think of myself as an angel of destiny, but it wasn't true. I would slip, often, and take the life of someone who didn't deserve to die and I hated myself for it. But as I got 'older', my self-control improved and these slips became less frequent. After much reflection, I was able to forgive myself for my indiscretions.

I often returned to the cabin where I had awoken, but Tom's scent had begun to fade and I missed it. I was so grateful that he had salvaged my things, especially my journal. By reading it, I had re-familiarised myself with my past and I spent a lot of time trying to remember the faces that were drawn there and the events I had depicted in it.

Six years after my change, I was much more in control. I had managed to remember a patchwork of my past and knew who I was. I still missed Tom as much as I had the day I awoke and I wondered whether the ache I felt for him would ever diminish.

One day, I was thinking about my sister Thia. I thought of her often. She was so little when I had been sent away to the asylum and I had essentially left her behind with the monster that was my father. She would be sixteen now. I hoped she had never seen the other side of our father and that she would have a happy life. I missed her. I considered going and checking on her and wondered whether I would have the self-control to observe her from a distance and to not approach her and bring danger into her life.

The vision hit me hard, clear as if it was happening in front of me. A teenage girl being murdered by the same man who had murdered my mother. Instinctively, I knew it was Thia. I had no time to think or plan. If I was to have any chance of saving her, I had to go now. So I ran.

By the time I reached my old family home it was dark. Being back here and seeing the house for myself crystallised the memories in my mind and they became clearer and more real. I vividly remembered the last time I was here, running in terror away from my home. Now I was running in terror towards it.

I silently let myself into my childhood house. I could distinguish four heartbeats. Two in my parents' old room and two at the other side of the house in what once had been my room. One of those heartbeats sped up and I heard a muffled yelp and struggling. I wasted no time in seeking out the source. I could tell where the noise had come from.

I charged into my old bedroom. The man I recognised from my vision had Thia pinned against the head of her bed, a knife at her throat. He was stroking her face in a sinister way and she was cowering away from him in terror. She looked tiny and fragile under his muscular frame. Despite the narrowing of our physical age gap, Thia was still more petite even than me and she bore a very strong resemblance to my human self. It would still be clear that we were sisters, despite the differences my transformation had caused.

Both Thia and her attacker seemed alerted to my entrance at the same time and in unison they looked at me in shock. Thia's eyes widened even more as she took in my appearance. I wondered if she were more scared of me or him. Her attacker's initial surprise gave way to smugness. He openly leered at me. "Two for one," he said under his breath, and I was only able to hear him because of my enhanced senses.

I narrowed my eyes at him and I could feel the hate radiating from me. This was the man that had killed my mother, had tried to kill me and now was coming after my sister.

"Get away from her and leave or you won't live to regret it," I growled at him.

"Oh, the little girl wants to play," he chanted. "Well, you'll have to wait your turn, I'm dealing with this one first."

"I don't think so. You deal with me first," I commanded.

"I can see why you were committed," he sneered. "You are truly insane, threatening me. You don't even have any way to defend yourself." He flashed his knife at me, drawing himself into standing and dragging a struggling Thia with him. "I can't have you running away from me when you watch what I'm going to do to your sister."

He flung the knife at me. I could tell he was trying to incapacitate me and his aim was good, but my reflexes were better. I caught it instinctively and easily. He stared at me in disbelief, as if there was no way he could believe what he had seen. I returned his stare, unblinkingly. My visions of the future flicked in quick succession as he considered different options. It was the first time I had tried to predict an opponent's next move. It was difficult to concentrate and made me feel a little dizzy. I had to stop so I could focus on the present.

He still had Thia in a vice like grip and tears were streaming down her face. I could easily snap his neck but I was worried about Thia. How would she react to me killing another human being right in front of her? More immediately concerning was that if either of them were to bleed even slightly, I would lose hold of my dubious control. Just a scratch, a small nick in either of their skins, would be all it would take. I could easily kill Thia in a moment of bloodlust and I wasn't prepared to risk that. So we were locked in a stale mate.

"It's you who should run, and run fast," I told him coolly, "If you hurt her, I will kill you."

Thia suddenly found her voice and used it to scream at the top of her lungs, making us both jump. "Help us. Please, help us," she yelled.

My father came barrelling into the room. "What is going on here, can't you keep her quiet? She's going to attract attention if you're not careful!"

It was disgusting and disturbing. He must have been lying in bed, knowing his daughter was going to be murdered in the same house. He did a double take when he saw me.

"Well, well, Mary. I didn't expect to ever see you again. When they told me you escaped that place, I thought that maybe you'd be begging, or have died all alone. It never occurred to me that six years later you'd come back here. Surely you know you are not welcome."

"You got it right Daddy…I am dead." I taunted him, hurt and angered by his words, although they did not surprise me.

He laughed at me. "So what…you're some kind of ghost?" he mocked.

"She's some kind of something…she caught the knife I threw!" the familiar stranger told him.

"Don't be ridiculous, Greggor, we know she can see the future, that's what caused us all the problems in the first place. Just because she saw the knife coming, doesn't mean she has super strength. You can overpower her easily. We can't afford for either of them to live through tonight."

My father's words seemed to give Greggor new resolve. He dropped Thia and lunged at me, pulling out a second, much larger knife. He thrust it at me. As the metal blade connected with my abdomen, my rock solid skin didn't give at all and the knife slid across Greggor's hand, slicing it open. I saw red. The blood was pulsing out so close to me and the smell of it was divine. I was absolutely powerless to resist. Before anything else could register my lips were at his throat. Delicious and soothing, the warm liquid flowed into my mouth. As the supply ran dry, his thrashing stopped and his heart faltered and died. I let his lifeless body slip through my fingers and crumple to the ground and I became aware of my surroundings once more.

My father was horrified, frozen in place, gaping at me in a soundless scream. I turned to Thia, expecting her expression to be similar and her to be repulsed by me, but she just looked relieved.

"Thia," I called gently, she looked at me with recognition and love, reacting strongly to the name I had called her when we were both children. My desire to protect her was as strong as it ever was. "Gather anything you need and anything you can't part with," I instructed her, "we're leaving tonight and we won't ever come back."

"You won't get away with this," my father stammered and I laughed at him. I couldn't help myself. He was ridiculous and I actually felt a flash of sympathy for him…for a millisecond. "You're an abomination," he continued wildly, infuriated by my laughter. "When I tell people what you've become…we'll hunt you down," he huffed.

"Oh Daddy," I addressed him, my voice dripping with sarcasm. "Please do tell whoever you see fit. I think a stay in an asylum is a very fitting punishment for you…exactly what you deserve. I'll visit you more often than you visited me. I'll try and remember to feed before I come…" He stared at me with fear and revulsion, but was finally silent.

Thia was magnificent. She packed her things without hesitation, pointedly ignoring our father, who was cowering in a corner, muttering incoherently as he tried to decide what to do. She also overlooked the corpse littering her bedroom floor, at one point stepping over it as if it wasn't even there. As I helped her gather her things, she surprised me by speaking.

"Mary," she began, in a hushed whisper.

"Please call me Alice," I interrupted her. "I'm not Mary anymore."

She nodded, simply accepting my request without question.

"He said you were dead," she told me and I could feel that she was desperate to convey something to me. "He said you ran away, but were found dead a few weeks later. I never believed it! I could feel that you were still alive and knew you would never voluntarily leave me behind. As I got older, Joan would say things that made me suspicious." As Thia called our stepmother by her Christian name, I felt so relieved that she had never taken to calling her mother. "I started to try and look for you," she continued. "I found the telegram informing Father of your escape from the asylum and it threw everything into confusion for me. I started to think back to the day you had disappeared and the months leading up to it. I thought I was being subtle in my enquiries, but obviously Father was alerted somehow." She stopped and turned to face me, grabbing my hands and not even flinching away from my cold skin. "Thank you Ma…Alice. Thank you for coming back to save me. I missed you every single day that you were gone."

I was so moved by her emotional speech. Despite seeing me at my most dangerous, she still loved and trusted me and I knew that I couldn't let her down.

I had to hide the evidence of Greggor's death. It would raise too many questions about the circumstances of it. At the moment his cause of death screamed vampire. I couldn't take his body with me and hide it as I normally did because I would already have Thia and her things with me. The only option I had was to destroy his body. I sent Thia to wait for me outside and she obeyed me instantly. I moved at my full speed to set the fire and by the time my father realised my intention the room was already fully alight. As I jumped from the window, he fled from the room though the door. I expected him to run for safety, but he surprised me by heading back into the house to collect his wife first.

Maybe there was at least one person that he actually loved.

I ran from the burning house, with Thia in my arms and her belongings over my back, my father's incoherent shrieking fading into the background as his sobbing wife hung onto him. I had come so close to killing him on several occasions, but it felt like I'd be giving him an easy way out. He deserved to suffer losing everything…maybe even his sanity_. Sweet madness please take him,_ I thought.

I ran for miles. Thia had fallen asleep clinging to me by the time I finally stopped.

What would I do now? I really hadn't thought any of this through. I skimmed though visions of our immediate future and saw her trying to reassure me that she was fine, although she was shivering and clearly exhausted. Usually I would travel throughout the night and I didn't need to stop or rest. I didn't need money or any other human trappings, but Thia would. An unwelcome memory of Tom telling me how dangerous it was for a human to travel with a vampire filtered into my mind. I would have to keep her warm, sheltered and fed. I would somehow have to not kill her and there were so many ways she could be hurt. I was the biggest danger of all. I couldn't avoid the fact that she smelled delicious. Sweet and fragrant, her blood called to me even though I had just fed. I would have to be on my guard at all times or I could accidentally kill her myself. How could I keep her safe?

I searched for our more distant future, but it was frustratingly fuzzy. I hadn't made any decisions about where we would go or what we would do, so there was nothing for me to see yet. I let my mind roam, searching for anything I could use, trying to get out of the loop of no decisions before visions, therefore no visions before decisions. I was getting nowhere and I hissed in frustration. I tried to look further ahead. I needed some reassurance that she would be safe with me and that I had done the right thing.

Then I saw them.

Mesmerising golden eyes, more beautiful than anything I had ever seen before. They were filled with love and admiration and made me feel safe and wanted.

Over the hard upcoming months, whenever I looked far ahead, I could see those eyes. Guarding me and reassuring me. I could get through anything while the owner of those eyes was part of my future.

**AN: Thank you for taking the time to read this story. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!**

**This is the last chapter of the complete story I entered into The Canon Tour, but as I always do, I got carried away with the characters when I was writing and have their whole lives planned out for them! I am thinking about writing an epilogue, to describe some of Alice and Thia's future.**


	5. Peace

**Epilogue: Peace**

I was running towards Thia again, but this time it was excitement rather than fear that was driving me forward. It had been several months since I had seen her and the circumstances surrounding our reunion were unpredictable even to me. The trees that whizzed passed me should have been a blur at the speed I was going, but my enhanced senses meant that no matter how fast I went, every leaf, twig and even bug was in perfect focus. Running was so instinctive that it didn't even require my full attention and my mind began to wander.

The past twelve years since I had run away from our childhood home with Thia in my arms had surpassed even my most hopeful of forecasts. I could remember how anxious I had been and I really needn't have worried at all.

Of course it had been difficult for us initially. Our first few weeks together had been…trying. We had had to get to know each other again. So much had changed since we were children and I was so worried about any harm coming to her, and especially of me hurting her. I may have been a tad overprotective! Luckily Thia was strong enough to stand up to me and our love for each and our bond as sisters was durable enough to withstand everything we put ourselves through.

We started out moving around often and staying in hotels and guest houses, pretending that we were just passing through each new place on our way to visit relatives. But this had proved hard for so many reasons. The constant travelling took its toll on Thia and being surrounded by humans was torturous for me. The scent only was overwhelming and then there was the way their shifting decisions ran constant interference with my visions. I could never be sure it was safe to leave Thia, so I rarely did. On top of all of that, it was very expensive and we barely had any money.

It turned out that that problem, at least, was fairly easy to remedy once I put my mind to it. When I utilised my visions, there were a wide range of solutions to our money problems. My favourites were claiming rewards for tip offs to apprehend criminals and gambling. These two activities were at the opposite ends of the spectrum of legality, but both were equally fun and profitable.

It wasn't that easy for me to participate in gambling though. My small stature and size made me look even younger than my 19 years of human development and no one would take me seriously. That was so frustrating, as I was actually almost 26 and that combined with my experiences meant that I was most definitely not a child. The most effective method I found of making money through gambling was joining illegal card games, posing as a teenage boy who had questionably acquired a stake. I felt no remorse in taking the money of grown men who would exploit a vulnerable young boy that way. They saw me as easy pickings…until we started playing that is!

Often the men would take exception to my winning streak. No matter how I tried to diffuse and mask it, at the end of the day I was taking their money. They would accuse me of cheating…which was arguably true but I would still staunchly deny it and no matter how hard they tried, it was impossible for them to prove anything or catch me in the act. Mostly there were just rude, mean and threw me out. Sometimes they would try and take their money back by force or to teach me a lesson. Those were my favourite nights! I would come home to Thia well fed, having given us an income and having solved my hunting dilemma for a while.

After a few months, the constant moving got too much for both of us. I had managed to accumulate a respectable amount of money so we rented a house. We had to be much more careful about our back story once we were settled and I had to hunt further and further afield, for both blood and money. But everything else was better. Thia and I became closer still once the stress of constant change was removed. I became very accustomed to her proximity and once or twice had even been exposed to her fresh blood. Mercifully, I somehow found the strength to resist. My love for her was like a shield and I had slowly begun to trust that I would never hurt her. I was still cautious though and gentle when I touched her. There was always a risk, but as my self-control of my thirst and of my gift improved, my confidence that I could protect Thia grew and we had finally relaxed into a routine that suited us both. We gradually increased the amount of time we would stay in one place so that Thia was able to get work as well. We were happy.

In May 1936, Thia met Joseph. I knew the instant that they met, the vision hit me so hard and clear. They were going to be married. The exact whys and wheres were not clear as so many decisions were yet to be made but that they were going to be happy was indisputable. Thia came home that day glowing and giggling and I was elated for her. But sad for us. Everything was about to change. It was inevitable that she would leave me behind eventually. Her human life could develop and grow. I was set in stone.

Joe was a pilot. He was dashing, with light brown hair, cropped short, a mouth that was turned up in a permanent smile and blue eyes that danced with laughter. He openly adored everything about Thia and that included me. He was so immediately accepting that it was impossible not to love him. This was fortunate because I would not have given her up for anyone that was less than perfect. I was having to pose as Thia's younger sister by then and I dropped my assumed age to 16 when I was introduced to him, to give me as much time in their lives as possible. And that was how I acquired a protective older brother.

Once Joe was a part of our lives, we had to be much more careful. I had heeded Tom's advice…that it was better to know nothing or everything and very dangerous to know a little. I had shared with Thia everything I knew about vampires over our first few weeks together and we both knew that if anyone discovered she had this knowledge, then it could cost us both our lives.

The night she met Joe, we sat down to talk. She trusted my feelings, instincts and visions and asked me straight out if they had a future together. I would never lie to her, even though it broke my heart to set her free. We decided that we would protect Joe by protecting our secret. We rehashed our back story to make me as young as possible and to enable us to extend our stay. Fortunately we were new to the area, so it did not prove to be problematic. I had finally burned my journal. I had memorised every word in it, but it still was hard for me to let it go. No matter how precious it was to me, I simply could not risk having it any more. It was too incriminating.

Within a month, Joe had proposed. He was older than Thia and was well established in his own home. He couldn't wait to share that home with Thia…because he was a perfect gentleman, much to her frustration! She looked absolutely radiant on her wedding day. I gave her away. That had been met with strong resistance. Joe likes to claim it was his charm that persuaded the church to allow it, but I know it was my extra wide smile and well placed growl that ensured things were as they should be. I had protected Thia as best I could and I was passing that responsibility onto Joe. I knew he was more than capable of looking after her and that they would be very happy together.

I could not remember a happier day ever. I loved every second of the preparations and even didn't mind forcing down a few morsels of food. Then there was the dancing. I loved the dancing.

As Joe and Thia prepared to leave for their first night together, Joe took me to one side and promised me that I would always be welcome in their home. I was his sister now too, and I should mention that to any young man who pressed his suit! I gave him a firm hug, taking him by surprise with my strength. I tried to see that I was gaining a brother, not losing sister but it was hard, because I could see. Mine and Thia's life for over a decade had been intertwined and from now on we would unravel and drift apart. Of course she would always be everything to me and nothing could break our bond. But it wouldn't be the same.

As the summer approached, I talked with Thia and agreed that the best thing for me to do was go away over the summer months. We told Joe that I had a job, working in service in a wealthy family's summer home. He was upset at first that I was going to work far away and worried that I'd be on my own, but eventually relented. It was just too risky for me to be around them when the sun was shining all day every day. Thia and I had planned to move on before summer hit, but now I would be leaving on my own.

It had been a lonely six months. At first, I had relished the chance to run and hunt with freedom. I had explored some wilderness and gotten purposefully lost in the middle of nowhere, just because it didn't matter that I did. I was able to watch Thia through my visions and I became well practiced at checking in on her remotely, while still trying to protect her privacy…a little. I wrote to her regularly, but it was impossible for her to write back as she had no idea where I would be and I missed her more and more. It wasn't long before I began to crave human company again, but it was more difficult to integrate into society without Thia. I stood out because of my small size, short hair and the fact I was alone. I had to work hard to perfect a human charade. I was very careful how I chose to dress and carry myself. It became a game to me.

Now it was time to go home. To me, home was wherever Thia was and I could not be more eager to be back in her presence.

As I approached the town I paused to change. I had been travelling for days wearing boy's clothes that were now barely recognisable as clothes at all. I had to freshen up in a stream. As I scrubbed off the worst of the mud I vowed to be more careful in the future. It was embarrassing to have to clean up outside like an animal. As I pulled on the dress I had brought with me, I felt a sense of relief. I brushed down the fabric, getting out the worst of the creases and brushed and put clips into my hair. A sense of calm descended over me. I felt so much more comfortable like this. My outfit was a costume, a disguise that hid my past and my future and let me fit into the present. Let me be a part of my family.

I got to Joe and Thia's house moments after the sun had set. There was nothing coincidental about that and I smiled that I hadn't lost my touch. I was getting better and better at navigating my visions. I knocked on the door, vibrating in excitement and anticipation.

Joe opened the door and welcomed me with a beaming smile. He looked exhausted though and dishevelled which was very out of character for him.

"Come in, Alice," he hustled me into the house. "We've been waiting for you. Thia said you'd be here soon, but I wasn't so sure. How is your timing so good?" I just smiled at him in reply.

Joe led me into the living room, where Thia was resting in an armchair wrapped up in blankets. She looked terrible. More like a vampire than I did. She was pale with huge dark circles under her eyes. I looked at her searchingly and she returned my gaze for a moment before I ran to her and pulled her into a hug.

"Careful Alice," she warned with a chuckle. "_I'm _not indestructible!"

"Well…" I prompted impatiently. Joe cleared his throat from behind me. I turned to him and he handed me a small bundle of blankets. I took it from him carefully, holding my breath.

"This is Auntie Alice," Joe cooed.

The baby boy in my arms was so unbelievably tiny and handsome and I was mesmerised. He had a mess of dark hair and huge wide blue eyes that were both innocent and all-knowing at the same time. He blinked at me.

"He's beautiful," I told them honestly, wondering if my face would crack because my smile was so wide.

"His name is Tom," Thia told me and my eyes shot up to meet hers. Hers were brimming with tears and mine would've been too, if that were possible. It was such a perfect name for him.

My Tom had sacrificed his life for me, protected me and given me forever. Because of that I had been there to save Thia. Thia and I had talked about it many times before. I had told her everything about him. His strength, his values, his kindness and how he had saved me in every way. We were both alive because of him. We now both considered him our father. As far as we were concerned our biological father had no claim to us whatsoever and even though she had never met Tom, Thia loved him almost as much as I did. I hoped it would make him proud to know that Thia's child, who was named after him, was in the world because of him. In the end, he had preserved and created life, not taken it.

Baby Tom had fallen asleep and was resting peacefully in my arms. I was captivated by him and in awe that he was so comfortable with me. I made a silent vow to watch over him always and do everything in my power to protect him. I would be his guardian angel, as my Tom had been mine.

xxx

**AN: Thank you to everyone who has supported this story by reviewing and favouriting, it means such a lot to me. Thank you to Kathie (Katmom) for encouraging me to finish Thia's story. I am so much happier with this story now it has a proper ending. I highly recommend you go and read her story, EAC: The Journal of Edward Cullen, the much deserved winner of The Canon Tour, Pre-Twilight round.**

**Thank you to my beta, TheaJ1, who is brilliant and to my amazing sister, who is also my best friend.**

**I really enjoyed writing this story and I hope you liked it too.**


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